'Tis the Season...Peace on Earth Begins with ME...Good Will to Man, Woman & Child...

During this special season of Family togetherness, I have heard the cry of the heart of many who are 'alienated' from family members that they love.

Now is the time for restoring broken fellowship, resolving conflict and reaching out the hand of...PEACE.

Relationships are always worth restoring...in fact, if we want God's blessing on our life, we must learn to be a peacemaker.

Jesus said, "Blessings on those who work for peace...for they will be called the children of God." Notice that Jesus didn't say, 'Blessed are the peace lovers," because everyone loves peace.

Neither did He say, "Blessed are the peaceable," who are never disturbed by anything.

Jesus said, "Blessed are those who work for peace" - those who actively seek to resolve conflict.

Peacemakers are rare because peacemaking is....hard work!

...Peacemaking is not avoiding conflict.

Running from a problem, pretending it doesn't exist, or being afraid to talk about it is actually cowardice. Jesus, the Prince of Peace, was never afraid of conflict in order to resolve and bring peace....

Peacemaking is also not appeasement.

Always giving in, acting like a doormat, and allowing others to always run over you is not what Jesus had in mind. He refused to back down on many issues, standing His ground in the face of evil opposition.

Talk to God before talking to the person.

Discuss the problem, the conflict with God.

If we will pray about the conflict first, we will often discover that either God changes our heart or He changes the other person without our help.

As David did with his Psalms, use prayer to ventilate vertically.

Most conflict is rooted in...unmet needs.

Some of these needs can only be met by God.

When we expect anyone - a friend, spouse, boss, or family member - to meet a need that only God can fulfill, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and bitterness.

No ONE can meet all of our needs....except God.

Instead of looking to God, we look to others to make us happy and then get angry when they fail us. God says, "Why don't you come to Me first?"

Always take the initiative.

It doesn't matter whether you are the offender or the offended: God expects us to make the first move. Don't wait for the other party. Go to them first.

Restoring broken relationships is so important that Jesus expected us to even leave church and do it before worship...He said, "If you enter your place of worship and, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend or family member has against you, leave immediately, go to this person and make things right. Then and only then, come back and worship God ....."

Delay only deepens resentment and makes matters worse.

In conflict, time heals nothing; it causes hurts to fester.

Acting quickly reduces the spiritual damage to you and me.

Confess our part of the conflict.

If we are serious about restoring a relationship, we should begin with admitting our mistakes and asking God to show us our 'blind spots'.

Asking God to show us how much of the problem is our fault we say, "Am I the problem?

Am I being unrealistic, insensitive or too sensitive?"

Confession....saying "I'm sorry." is a powerful tool for reconciliation.

Often the way we handle a conflict creates a bigger hurt than the original problem itself.

Don't make excuses or shift the blame; just honestly own up to any part we have played in the conflict. Accept responsibility for our mistakes, ask for forgiveness and.....move on!

Cooperate as much as possible.

Peace always has a price tag. Sometimes it costs our pride; it often costs our self-centeredness.

For the sake of peace, adjust to others and show preference to what they need.

Emphasize reconciliation, not resolution.

It is unrealistic to expect everyone to agree about everything.

Reconciliation focuses on the relationship, while resolution focuses on the problem.

When we focus on reconciliation, the problem loses significance and often become irrelevant.

We can reestablish a relationship even when we are unable to resolve our differences.

As Christians we often have legitimate, honest disagreements and differing opinions, but we can disagree without being disagreeable.

God expects unity, not uniformity, and we can walk arm-in-arm without seeing eye-to-eye on every issue. This doesn't mean we give up on finding a solution.

We may need to continue discussing and even debating - but we do it in a spirit of harmony.

Reconciliation means we bury the hatchet, not necessarily the issue.

In 1 Peter 3:11, it says, "Work hard at living in peace with others."

So as we can see.....to be a peace-maker.....is WORK....HARD WORK!

......Romans 12:18 says, "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everyone."

(Some parts taken from Rick Warren's book...What On Earth Am I Here For? series)